Saving your couple when all seems lost
You have the impression that your couple is on the verge of breaking up, and you wonder how to save their couple when all seems lost,
You want at all costs to avoid taking a break in your relationship, because you fear that it will sound the death knell of your relationship. But you feel that you are moving away dangerously, and that scares you.
Many happy couples who have been together for a long time have experienced at least one crisis in their life as a couple, a period when all seemed lost to them, and they managed to overcome it to reunite again, even more united than before. It can also happen to you, so keep confidence.
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1/ Listen to the needs of the other to save his couple when all seems lost (Saving your couple when all seems lost)
Taking your share of responsibility
It is important that everyone acknowledges their wrongs in the couple’s crisis. Often we tend to blame the other for the couple’s problems, because we do not want to take our share of responsibility. For example, if your partner has deceived you, you may want to make his/her life impossible, to make him/her pay for all the harm he/she has done to you. But if he/she deceived you, isn’t it also due for example to the fact that you had shown him/her indifference lately, that it’s been several months since you were so on a project that you no longer took care of the couple, that you abandoned him/her to take care of your child 100%? This does not excuse betrayal, but you may also have some responsibility to acknowledge.
In addition, we have an unfortunate tendency to think that we hold the Truth, that our way of thinking and doing things is the best.
We are convinced that our vision of the world is universal, while our partner has its own vision of the world, different from ours. Neither holds absolute Truth, so it’s important not to ridicule his/her worldview for the benefit of yours. Listen to him/her, and try to find solutions so that neither of them has to make a sacrifice for the couple.
aking one’s share of responsibility also means no longer taking the role of victim in the couple’s crisis situation, but taking the role of co-manager,to make sure that things get better. By seeing you make efforts to save your couple instead of resigning yourself, your partner will be more likely to do it too. The positive attracts the positive, so make sure to create a new beautiful torque energy.
Saving your couple when all seems lost
Moving towards more independence or more sharing?
Does your partner blame you for your distance, the fact that you go to him/her less often? Or conversely, does he/she reproach you for not leaving him or her air?
If you feel that your partner is moving away, this is the time to listen to what he/she needs: attention, sharing or freedom?
Even if your needs are different, make an effort to respect their needs a little more. If your partner walks away, you may tend to run after them to reassure you about their feelings. But if he/she moves away, it’s because he/she needs distance, so try to take it upon yourself, and leave him/her space.
Conversely, if your partner moves away while he/she has often criticized you for your distance in the past, this is the time to show you more present, without being invasive.
Understanding your language of love (Saving your couple when all seems lost)
Do you know the book “The Five Languages of Love” by Gary Chapman? According to the author, there are 5 different languages of love, and each has its own way of saying “I love you”. Indeed, since everyone has their own vision of the world, everyone also has their own way of expressing their feelings.
For some, it will be a love letter written by hand, for others gifts, surprises, or help with household chores on a daily basis.
Try to understand your partner’s language of love: how does he/she express his/her feelings to you? Perhaps you didn’t pay too much attention to his evidence of affection, because it seemed insignificant to you?
Often we act according to how we would like the other to act with us. Learn to speak his language of love and introduce him/her to yours.
2/ Recreate emotion to save your couple when all seems lost
Emotion, connection is what makes a couple united and complicit. Sometimes we let ourselves be invaded by everyday life, and we forget to take care of the couple. Especially when we live under the same roof: we feel like we spend a lot of time together, when in fact there are often much fewer qualitative moments, based on connection.
So reconnect with what you liked about him/her at the beginning, and what made you fall in love. Make a list of everything you like about him/her. You may have almost forgotten all that. Remember the good times spent together, immerse yourself in your happy memories.
Then put aside everyday life for a while, to take the time to reconnect emotionally with your partner: ask him/her how he/she feels about a situation (his/her work, his/her children etc.), ask him/her questions about his/her past, his/her childhood, which is important for him/her.
These questions will lead you to reveal yourself again in an authentic, vulnerable and intimate way, creating a powerful bond based on trust.
Saving your couple when all seems lost
How to save your couple when all seems lost? By becoming the person he/she knew again
The water has flowed under the bridge since you met, and you may have tended to take your partner for granted since then. You may have lost the habit of putting yourself on your 31, listening carefully when he/she speaks to you, offering him/her outings for two etc.
Take this crisis of couple as the opportunity to make efforts again for the couple, to find yourself in an even more united way than before.
Immerse yourself in the body and mind of the person he/she met. How did you seduce him? With humor, your charm, your little love attentions, your ambition, your way of asserting yourself, your commitment?
Embody the values of the person he/she fell in love with, so that he/she has his/her eyes sparkle again when you see you, and that you regain confidence in yourself.
Create a new couple when all seems lost
When there is a crisis, there is an opportunity for change. Moreover, theword “crisis” in Chinese consists of two characters: the first means “danger”, and the second “opportunity / chance”.
A couple crisis can therefore represent a chance for the couple to start again on a better basis, to build a new couple with even stronger feelings.
Indeed, it is an illusion to think that you will be able to restart on the same bases as before. Your relationship will inevitably have to evolve into something different, as the crisis proves that you have both evolved on your own, leaving the relationship as it is.
Now is the time to build a whole new relationship. (Saving your couple when all seems lost)
The fear of losing the other can make you realize its value, and give you the strength to brave obstacles to evolve the relationship.
And it is by communicating with the other that you will know what you can both put in place to start again on new bases. When both people have the will to save the couple, anything is possible.
Conclusion: save your couple when all seems lost
You have understood it: it is not easy to save your couple when all seems lost, because it requires questioning and effort.
In this situation, the most important thing is to act by avoiding as much as possible to let oneself be invaded by one’s emotions. It is normal to be afraid of losing him/her, of feeling angry towards him/her, of being sad, but this should not push you to give up, to take revenge or to become dependent.
Keep confident so that you can keep control of the situation. Yes it is possible that you separate, just as it is possible that you leave even more in love on even more united bases. So, are you ready to make these efforts for the person you love?