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Inferiority complex
Changing the other has never been a good remedy for romantic dysfunctions. However, many try to model their partners according to their desires, their tastes. Fear is one of the reasons why we want to change the one we love. He/she is too good for us: his/her qualities frighten us and make us complex on ours which seem to us then non-existent.
At dinners we listen to him speak with great inner admiration, but also, a certain jealousy when he/she exposes himself/herself. His humor, his beauty, his intelligence, his sense of relationship, his ambition seem so extraordinary to us that we feel a feeling of inferiority. It’s obvious, this god, this goddess, will end up throwing us in the trash like an old handkerchief too used. Unless… We manage to change it??
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When Laurent met Marie, he fell in love immediately. She was there, leaning against a wall laughing with her friends. In this nightclub, he could only see her, a pungent little brunette with a bewitching smile. His charisma and beauty had bewitched him in a matter of seconds and he could no longer take his gaze from the pretty creature. Swallowing his shyness and putting on his coat of confidence, he advanced towards her. He then discovered a young woman full of humor, simplicity and vivacity.
Very quickly, a story was born between them. The days passed and Laurent’s desire for Mary continued to evolve. He discovered his princess with wonder, astonished to have managed to conquer her. She was intelligent and had this irresistible way of never taking herself seriously; creating at the same time an addiction, an attachment and a distance in those who knew it. Always surrounded and very courted, Mary was what is called a balanced and happy person. Laurent felt himself becoming king in the arms of this queen. (Inferiority complex)
Still not coming back from being able to share his life with this incredible little piece of woman, he began to feel the look of his loved ones change. He had the feeling that his friends, his family, respected him more since he formed this beautiful couple with Marie. Not to mention that he had never been so fulfilled on a carnal and intimate level.
A year later, he tried everything for the whole, offering to marry her. The young woman agreed. Basically, Laurent was still not very sure of himself: am I up to the task? Will I be able to fill it? Won’t she be bored by my side? By the precious keys of the marriage, he reassured himself, locking Mary in double turn in his heart.
After a few years of marriage and living together, the sabotage reached its peak.
After passing the ring on his finger, Laurent began to destroy what Mary was; asking him to no longer wear skirts, to wear less makeup, to be less attentive to his friends, to no longer have this seductive look with men, to regain his natural color, to throw away his plunging necklines … In love, the young woman accepted everything from her husband. (Inferiority complex)
Today Marie has become a good popote housewife whose brilliant beauty of four years ago no one can suspect. Laurent has succeeded so well in what he wanted to undertake, namely to destroy the intimate charm of his beloved, that he ends up no longer desiring it himself. The one he made him vibrate, the one he loved like a madman… has disappeared.
Inferiority complex
We always have good reasons to have love for our partner; whether it is its defects or its qualities. To persist too much in changing them, we put at stake not only our relationship as a couple but also and above all, the love we have for it.
