It is not the right one
Loneliness is a very ugly fear that binds us to our relationship, willingly but above all by force. We have all, at one time or another, felt the anguish of being alone, alone in front of ourselves. The anguish of ending up old girl or simply, of ending our life without a partner whether it is sentimental, sexual or both.
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It is often this fear, this anguish, that keeps us in relationships that do not suit us, that are not beneficial to us. Very often, we know what we should do, what decisions should be taken. But no, we persist. Because even if it is not really perfect, it is still not too bad and then good, maybe there is not better on this earth, or maybe this “better” will not want me
There are times in our lives when it is better to agree to look things in the face, in order to avoid unnecessary tears.
So what are the signs that he is not the right one?
1/ It abandons you ( It is not the right one )
He says he loves you but spends the majority of his time away from you by choice. I’m not talking about weekends with friends or evenings when Chou decided to go for a drink with his best friend. I am talking about constant avoidance. He returns more and more late in the evening, and as if that were not enough, he always finds a way to take off from your home barely with his foot on the doormat. No matter how much you tell him, suffer from his lack of consideration for you, he makes no effort and is content to put the blame on you.
According to him you are a possessive woman incapable of independence and that is why you do not let go of her sneakers. Maybe you really are, but maybe you have good reason to worry about his love for you.
2/ Tears are more present than smiles ( It is not the right one )
Why persist in staying in a destructive relationship that makes you unhappy? Why cling for weeks, months or even years to a love story punctuated by bouts of anxiety and hysteria? As an unconscious masochist, a romantic relationship, according to you, cannot exist without suffering.
And you have everything wrong because it will never be normal to suffer because of the relationship supposed to offer us happiness and fulfillment. We can be unhappy after an argument, break the vase that mother-in-law offered us because Chou has crossed the boundaries and we are very upset. But under no circumstances should we be plunged into a state of pain that eats away at our daily lives.
Take one sheet and draw two columns. In the first you will write all the good times spent together by dating them. In the second you will register all the bad ones, dating them also. This will allow you to have a fairly global vision of the current state of your couple and also of your heart.
3/ It demeanes you ( It is not the right one )
Your friend can’t stand the way you dress, let alone think. He is always critical of your person. He does not miss an opportunity to lower you, to remind you of your extra pounds or your haircut that he abhors. Worse, he also criticizes you in public, infront of your relatives or friends. You are more of a scapegoat than a companion to him. And you can’t stand that! We don’t stay with someone who uses us as a painkiller. How to believe in the love of a guy who does not respect you?
4/ Compliments are not part of his vocabulary
He has made a habit of never complimenting you, besides he does not try to please you either. It is not his shyness that drives him never to formulate sweet words, he simply does not see the usefulness of them.
In short, it takes you for granted. According to him, no need for chili, kindness or attention, you are the prisoner of his red prison. However, we all need recognition, especially from our partner. How to have self-confidence, how to feel beautiful and desirable, how to feel loved in the face of so little consideration?
5/ He is jealous and possessive ( It is not the right one )
I am not going to dwell on that because I think it is clear. A man who does not let you breathe, prevents you from going out with girlfriends, scrutinizes all your movements, reads your text messages and uses your password every day, can not be good to you. You gradually lock yourself into a bubble of stress, in a life based on the exclusivity of your companion. You realize this little by little and soon you will have lost all your freedom.
6/ It does not communicate
Already, he does not speak much in general. At the table he does not have much to tell, in bed he prefers to sleep, otherwise the television fills his life well. But the worst thing is during the arguments. When he is he decides to punish you by closing in completely on himself. As you braille, scream, cry to make him understand that you can no longer cope with the situation, he is silent, plays silent and prefers to take the door.
He will come back in an hour and will not want to discuss more, he prefers to pretend. But how to fix things if the other one doesn’t talk to you? How to move forward in a relationship when words are scary?
7/ He criticizes your loved ones ( It is not the right one )
You can afford to make ironic and sneering comments about your family. Because it is yours, that despite all the small defects of each other, you love it and cherish it. But if your friend allows himself unfounded, hurtful and gratuitous criticism about your family or friends, I hope you are aware of your partner’s total lack of respect for your loved ones and for yourself. What a perversion! What pleasure can it take to demean the people you love the most?
8/ It forbids you things that it allows itself
Going out until 5am makes perfect sense for him. But don’t be sure to go dancing with your friends until even 2 hours! You are the good pear that awaits him every night, the one who does nothing with his days except your job and cleaning. Outside of your daily life you have no oxygen bottles. No outdoor activities, no outings with girlfriends, nothing. On the other hand, your partner, for his part, gives himself to heart joy. You can’t tell him anything or ask him at the risk of triggering screams. Is this really the life you’ve always dreamed of??
9/ He uses your weaknesses to attack you ( It is not the right one )
Like a narcissistic pervert that he certainly is, he has spotted, from the very beginning of your relationship, your greatest weaknesses, your fears, your doubts. Very cunning, he uses your anxieties to harm you and attack you. And every time, it works. He puts his finger where it hurts and you can only acquiesce. The narcissistic pervert is a dangerous person, to flee. An article will be devoted to it shortly.
10/ Drugs and/or alcohol are part of his daily life
It is very focused on alcohol and other illicit products. You don’t need an addict in your life. Not only could he have violent or at least uncontrolled reactions, but above all your friend is not a balanced person. He needs to heal himself before he can live a relationship worthy of the name. The real problem is that, in general, these people do not want to be treated because they are often on the run from something.
The return to reality is their worst nightmare. Except that you, you are well anchored in reality and you can not spend your life suffering the addiction of your friend.