If you find love again shortly after a breakup, or a divorce, it can sometimes seem difficult to announce it to your loved ones… Especially if you have children! Here we give you some tips to make the first meeting go as smoothly as possible!
How to tell your children that you have a new spouse after a divorce?
If you have children from another relationship, and the breakup was difficult and recent, they may feel that their father was quickly forgotten and may turn to you to protect him. For children, it’s not just a couple separating, it’s a model of love that is collapsing.
This is why you must take into consideration the emotions of your children and closely follow the stages of the breakup they are going through. Although they only want your happiness, they may need more time than you, and it should not be overlooked.
If your children are grown up, they will be able to understand your new relationship more and accept it more easily.
Take the time to talk face-to-face with your children about your new relationship. Gather your children one evening in your living room, tell them the news, and observe their reactions. If some feel stunned or angry, try to make them understand that this is a new stage in your life, that you are very happy, that this new person will in no way influence the education of your children and that he will be able to remain discreet in the life of each of them, while they accept it completely.
Tell them that the new spouse will never replace their father, that you do not want it and that this is in no way his role.
How to announce to your adult relatives that you have a new spouse after a divorce?
Although for family and friends, it can be easier, because we are facing adults, the meeting can still scare you. If they appear suspicious of your new spouse, know that it is unconsciously to protect you and to prevent you from suffering, because your loved ones have already seen you sad following a breakup and do not want it to happen again.
Reassure them, tell them that it is a serious relationship and that your decision has been well thought out.
If during the meeting you feel a slight discomfort, it is normal and it does not matter. Give your family and friends time to get to know your new spouse, and they will realize for themselves that this person really loves you and that your feelings for them are reciprocal.
When to set up the meeting with the new spouse?
Before thinking about setting up a possible meeting, be sure that your children or loved ones have had enough time to accept the news. It can be a few days, weeks, or months depending on your personal history. Following this, and if you have children, ask them beforehand if they would like to meet her. If they say yes, reassure them about the personality of your new spouse, and organize a first moment of short and simple meeting, such as an aperitif for example. (Divorce)
This will help your children discover it, see you together, reassure themselves, eradicate certain fears and accept more easily. Introduce your children to your new spouse with a smile and ask them to introduce themselves briefly. Avoid, during the first meeting with your children, to do too much or to behave with very marked love gestures.
Always include your children in this moment. Following this meeting, gather your children again in the same room and ask them to speak freely and frankly about their feelings. You will see right away, if they are comfortable, happy, pleasantly surprised or other.
If your children don’t want to meet your new spouse (Divorce)
If your kids don’t want to meet him, wait. Keep talking about your new boyfriend in front of your children,so they can see that it’s a serious and real relationship. Then, the day they feel ready they may ask you to meet him…?
If the first meeting didn’t go well, listen to what your children have to say to you, accept their feelings, say what you think and feel, and then wait a bit for a possible next meeting.
We hope that these tips have been useful and encouraging, and that you feel more confident!
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