Is jealousy a proof of love?
We often hear that jealousy is a proof of love. This is a mistake, because jealousy is a much deeper evil that must be understood in order to heal oneself and move forward. Is jealousy a proof of love? This is what we are going to see in this article.
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What is jealousy? (Is jealousy a proof of love?)
Jealousy reveals a fear of abandonment, and therefore, a lack of self-confidence. This feeling has nothing to do with your partner, but represents your deepest fears. You have the feeling of not being well enough and having the risk of losing your lover. You have fixed ideas that run in a loop: I’m not good enough / my lack of intelligence will make him go away / my ungrateful physique will play against me…
It seems obvious to you that your partner will go elsewhere to find his happiness, because you do not deserve it. Then jealousy takes the lead and you become possessive or even aggressive for fear of losing the one you love.
The other does not belong to you
The mistake is to think that the other belongs to you, but no one belongs to anyone. Very quickly we find ourselves with two victims in the story: the jealous person and the one who is the sufferer. Is jealousy a proof of love? It would seem that no because the two partners will enter into a story made of suspicions and lies, because we no longer dare to speak for fear of triggering the wrath of the partner. We end up walling ourselves in silence and lies for fear of bringing out the wrath of the jealous who imprisons us in his paranoia.
How does sickly jealousy manifest itself? (Is jealousy a proof of love?)
A jealous person gives the impression of being curious, because he asks a lot of questions. But the goal is just the intrusion into the life of the other. By knowing everything in every detail, we think we reduce the risks of deception of the partner. What should alert you is the questions that become more and more insistent in order to know precisely the time, the place and the people met. You can answer with an open heart and in all sincerity: the jealous does not believe you!
The line between cute jealousy and sickly jealousy is thin. If the fact of reassuring your partner is not enough to calm his fears, it is because we enter a pathology that will not cease to increase over time. Either the person will understand and be able to reassure himself or he will accentuate his jealousy to the point of harming the couple. If the irrational takes precedence over the rational, it is because we must sound the alarm. I advise you to read our article on how to get rid of sickly jealousy.
How to live with a jealous person? (Is jealousy a proof of love?_)
Is jealousy a proof of love? Not so much no! On the contrary, it may very quickly become unlivable for both partners. It is a compulsion that continues to grow over time. The partner will never have the words to calm the fear and uncertainty of his darling. The only way to get out of it is to consult. Otherwise, jealousy can quickly turn into paranoid delirium and give way to violence.
Personal therapy or spousal therapy can help the person understand the mechanisms they put in place in order to control them. It is possible to live with this kind of person if one accepts that he has in him an irrational fear of being left. The partner will have to find the words and have sufficient patience until jealousy becomes controllable. It must be understood that this fear can only disappear when we have managed to love ourselves. This requires an awareness and a desire to get out of the nightmare of jealousy.
From when does jealousy become pathological?
It is normal to be jealous because when we love we are always afraid of losing the other. This can mean reinventing yourself every day to please your partner. In this case you can quickly be reassured by your lover. It becomes pathological when the obsessive idea becomes present H24. When you start spying on the other on social networks and you try to look at what is hidden in your mobile phone. We end up creating a world that exists only in our minds. Over time we end up spending our time justifying ourselves and having to answer for our actions. It is clear that this kind of situation is not sustainable in the long term.
Conclusion: is jealousy a proof of love?
Jealousy is NOT a proof of love because it rhymes with doubts and suspicions. When love is real and based on sound foundations, there is no room for jealousy. Perhaps the bases of communication of the couple should be reviewed in order to iron out doubts and fears. Love does not need this component that risks breaking trust and deserved happiness.
A proof of love is a cute and romantic act that allows you to ostensibly show your love to someone. Making a fit of jealousy, screaming, being aggressive, is far, far from being a proof of love! A little jealousy once in a while doesn’t hurt, but when it’s every week, it’s time to ask the right questions!
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