Happy and loving infidels: How is this possible?

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Happy and loving infidels

One obvious: we are in love!

We have all (or almost) known one day an unconditional love for someone, a life of couple where everyday life rhymes with respect, complicity and cohesion. A quiet family life, where the education of the children is in perfect harmony.

But after a while and once the passion is out of breath, the wear and tear of the couple is felt more and more.

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Happy and loving infidels

Chronic and compulsive infidelity: what if we learned to understand it

Comes a time when we pay less attention to our partner, our libido decreases, we feel less desirable and this is how the desire for escape settles, a desire that once satisfied, would hinder all the rules of trust, fidelity, exclusivity that the couple promises each other at the beginning.

And despite this disorder that takes hold of our mind, that is about to engage in lies, manipulation, betrayal, we have this certainty that we love our partner of sincere love,that we love this framework, this balance that it brings us.

I will address without complexes in this article a subject that makes teeth cringe: the infidelity of people in love and happy who have accidents of course … Because yes, we can love and deceive.

The infidelity of “loving and happy” people (Happy and loving infidels)

In no case am I referring to the unrecoverable Don Juan, who are egocentric, manipulative and narcissistic beings, unable to love sincerely and whose happiness depends solely on their power of seduction OR to the infidels who engage in a double love life.

I have repeatedly turned my brain with this contradiction “in love and infidels (?!?!)” in order to find a logic, but in vain..

It was inconceivable for my (conditioned) logic!

Today, I have reached a certain degree of maturity to finally see an explanation.

I suggest you share it with you.

Happy and loving infidels

Fidelity is that sweet word that makes us feel unique in the eyes of the other.

Which reminds us that we must be indifferent and infallible in front of the incessant temptations of our time, by the liberation of mentalities and the ease of dating via social networks, disguised as dating sites!

Unfortunately, these promises are not always kept… for various reasons (irresistible drive, boredom, need to please, lack of self-esteem, doubts about one’s feelings, etc…) that I would not delve into here.

Infidelity is very real despite its anti-sacrosanct character.

Moreover, the figures speak for themselves: According to the various studies I have read:

Infidelity affects 3 out of 4 men in France, and 2 out of 4 women. (Happy and loving infidels)

It’s incredibly high as statistics, isn’t it?

And what is even more surprising is when we question couples, 90% advocate extreme fidelity…

If we interpret these figures, infidelity is ultimately very common but remains a taboo subject that we keep silent out of fear… to be judged!

hypocrisy? obviously…

So how to explain this contradiction of couples who love each other but who are mistaken?

We live in a society that fiercely defends the values of couple such as love, honesty, exclusivity, fidelity, etc.

It is very frowned upon to deceive one’s partner for whatever reason we might have to do so.

But this same society forgets the human aspect and the difficulty of the terrain of our daily lives.

Instead of encouraging transparency, frankness and communication within the couple in order to pose individual or collective problems, it incites us to cheating and lies and creates a climate of fear and rejection in the face of infidelity.

So under the effect of this social pressure, the “infidels in love and happy” allow themselves extras followed or not, punctually or not, in all discretion and without feelings…

There, I hear you cry foul and answer me “we are not animals! why should they not control themselves? » (Happy and loving infidels)

Quite simply because there is a significant biological and physiological aspect to take into consideration.

Indeed, we remain animals, civilized and shaped by cultures, religions, traditions that man put in place several thousand years ago, in order to channel the animal impulses of the human being.

This is a first reality that would explain that man must continually fight against himself in order to comply with societal rules.

This could be likened to a fierce fight against Mother Nature! And it is very often she, who emerges victorious …

There is also another reality: we are not all equal when it comes to managing our emotions and impulses.

Men are undoubtedly the most unfaithful gender by their genetic heritage of multi-progenitor but women are well and truly concerned and more and more numerous with the liberation of the mentalities of the latter.

The infidelity of men (in general) would be purely carnal, punctual and without remorse, while that of women, beyond the intimate character, would be more thoughtful and emotionally committed, and would therefore cause a feeling of guilt in them. We also speak of emotional and emotional infidelity.

But this does not change the translation of the sensations felt regardless of the gender of the infidel, at the “M” moment.

After collecting several testimonies, a common feeling emerges: They say they are seized of a sudden and uncontrollable impulse, as if it were a question of life or death. (Happy and loving infidels)

A drive that becomes more and more obsessive and that, once satisfied, will give the feeling of being even more alive, like vampires of carnal energy.

Would Oscar Wilde’s saying go in this direction: “the best way to resist temptation is to give in to it”… ??!??!

It has always left me perplexed and even taken aback.

But following these different exchanges with “happy and loving infidels”, my field of tolerance has expanded…

Indeed, they explained to me that they find a benefit in doing so.

they would feel, following this fulfillment, a renewed vitality that would allow them to always be invested in their daily lives, alongside the person they consider to be their true love.

One can only admit that this scheme is not honest but it would have a saving approach for the deceiver and his couple.

Because in the end, this type of infidels says they are undeniably in love but their carnal impulses would be too strong to fight them and that their deviations do not weigh on their conscience because their approach would be purely “mechanical”…

And then, why not be honest, quite simply, with his partner??

So the answer is both simple and complicated.

There is already the sanctity of fidelity that sends us back a bad image of ourselves if we are unfaithful.

Deceivers are usually cowardly. (Happy and loving infidels)

They are afraid of the judgment of others and may feel ashamed and guilty. And we know that human beings don’t like to be singled out and feel guilty… and for good reason, an incriminating society that prevents us from feeling and assuming ourselves.

The other reason that would explain the deceiver’s lack of honesty, is that he selfishly has a fear of losing his daily balance for a compulsive, feelingless and purely carnal deviation.

He feels that his partner could not understand him and above all he is afraid of being rejected by the person he loves…

the reality is that even though we are a couple, we are not clones.

The other is different from us with its own mechanism, its own system of values and beliefs.

The deceivers therefore engage in the lie thinking that the deceived is in the inability to understand and reflect.

Finally, there is also a desire of the deceiver to preserve his partner in order to spare him suffering and psychological torture, because he satisfys impulses uncontrollable selfishly.

As contradictory as it may seem, the deceivers also think about protecting the well-being and balance of their spouse even if they put their needs before anything else to feel alive…

Happy and loving infidels

So they don’t see the point of disrupting their daily lives just for a drive…

In short, as I progressed in writing this article, I realized how difficult it is to give an explanation to an act that is contrary to one’s own values as a couple.

I have always believed, as have many people, that infidelity is an act of supreme betrayal, selfishness, disamour and, above all, reprehensible.

That it requires a lot of emotional intelligence, analytical and tolerance, to try to understand this act, synonymous with division.

That it was not obvious for my honest and fair person to justify infidelity, a word that reasoned like an insult and that I would remove from the dictionary.

That in my own world, everything is justifiable, even an act as selfish as it is, for there is a healthy selfishness,

That the real unhealthy selfishness is not to accept the same actions in his partner, to hide his infidelity, not to preserve him but for fear of revenge and thus be able to continue to deceive with impunity and unscrupulous.

That I sadly accept the reality of infidelity, which has always existed and will exist again and again in our society attached to obsolete and hypocritical values, but that at the same time,… if these values did not exist, there would be discord in the world of couples.

That I refuse to be blind and hypocritical towards myself and others

That I am a sensible and sensitive being,

That I accept the possibility of one day being the deceived or the deceived,

That no one is immune, even if we are full of human values or we believe we know our partner perfectly,

That no one has the right to judge us because everyone has their own history,

That we are free to make the choice to free ourselves from the chains, inflicted by the dictates of our society,

That we must be accountable for our actions and choices,

May tolerance and forgiveness require courage, surpassing oneself and one’s fears,

That tolerating the intolerable belongs to us, but also to forgive the unforgivable …

Wouldn’t it be wiser to think that ultimately, the most important thing is the fidelity of the heart of the person we love, even if his body may have been elsewhere “the time of a drive”…

And that the most important thing is to learn from one’s mistakes whether for the deceived or the deceived, to better approach the future.

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