My man denies me and denies everything
Today, Rosabella answers a new question from a reader namely: my man is lamenting me and denying, what should I do?
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Question from Dom:
Hello Dominic and the whole team,
I’m not the type to send emails usually but the situation weighs me too much and I need to externalize and also to have advice because I admit to being completely lost.
My man is lent to me and denies everything en bloc, that’s the main concern.
Let me explain: We have been together for 6 years and we are in love with each other. Only, he is a partygoer, we live in Paris and we go out almost every weekend and most of the time each on our side (we live together so we agree one evening a week to be me with my friends and him with his own). And I think it’s super healthy to work like this!
Except that for some time I have very big doubts! When he tells me about his evenings and I talk about them with his friends a few days or weeks later I often realize that he lied to me (like he did not tell me the real him, he forgot important parts of the evening, he even happened to lie about the people who were with him …). The other day he tells me that he has been in such a box, and while doing a laundry I come across a credit card ticket that mentions another box at 2am… Why lie about such futile stuff if he has nothing to reproach himself for.
I become jealous and bad. And the more suspicious I am, the more he mends, the more he denies. I am coming to wonder if he is misleading me that, as you can imagine, he is saying no.
In short, I am sad and lost (I am 29 years old). What do you advise me to do?
My man denies me and denies everything: Rosabella answer
Dear Dominic,
I will try to help you clarify all your questions.
To begin with, 6 years of couple and life together:
What are your common passions? Do you have any intimate moments or do you only meet during the week?
What is your daily life made of? Similar schedules or do you work staggered?
The routine has set in or do you give yourself special moments with one another?
It is important that the basis of your couple is mutual love, respect, trust but also the sharing of intimate moments.
Talk to your partner about your feelings about your respective outings. Communication in the couple is essential, never forget it.
He is a party-goer but you don’t say if you too.
A common passion could allow you to find yourself.
FREEDOM (My man denies me and denies everything)
In a couple, being together H24 is not always possible and for some unthinkable.
The human being is made to live in society, but needs individuality.
What do you do with your free time? What passion drives you?
Do you enjoy moments alone, with family or with friends?
It is good to refocus and review your desires to be happy yourself.
In particular, you say that you are sad and lost, it is in these kinds of moments that it is vital to take stock. You have life ahead of you!
Of course we all have our moments of loneliness and unhappiness but look deep inside you at what animates you and makes you vibrate.
A day without a smile is a day of waste, do not forget that.
Finally, it is important to understand that the other, like you, has his individuality to have.
TRUST (My man denies me and denies everything)
The basis of the couple is based on respect, trust, honesty and sharing.
If one of these stones is missing from the building, then the whole thing is wobbly.
The goal is to try to rebalance everything to live together, serenely and as happily as possible.
For this, it is necessary to be attentive to the other, to listen, not constantly to monitor him, but to keep a benevolent look. You know if he had a good day or not for example, and you will know how to cheer him up if it was an exhausting day.
Being supportive and attentive to the other brings trust.
We do not depend on the other but we offer him a part of ourselves.
Currently, you ask yourself a lot of questions, you express jealousy and feel bad. You need to talk to your spouse.
Give him your feelings, explain your suffering and ask him to speak with an open heart with you.
Either the couple consolidates or it risks collapsing.
Living with fears, doubts, is not a happy life.
Try to talk and let everyone express their point of view, their expectations, their
projects.
Love is not a long quiet river, and to sit down to redo the point is important to keep in mind the same goals.
Yours.
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