Differences Between Jealousy and Possessiveness
In a relationship there is often jealousy and possessiveness. It is important to be able to distinguish between them, because their impact is not identical. By knowing what it is, we will be better able to protect ourselves. Understanding the differences between jealousy and possessiveness will allow you to better understand your relationship.
Differences between jealousy and possessiveness: Focus on jealousy
The feeling of jealousy can rekindle the flame in the couple, but also extinguish it when it takes up too much space in everyday life. Jealousy can even destroy a couple when it becomes an obsession of all times. One might think that it is a proof of love to be in jealousy. If this feeling grows larger and jealousy becomes pathological, then we can speak of a problem of “possessiveness”.
Differences between jealousy and possessiveness: Zoom in on possessiveness
In possessiveness we mean “possession”, which would mean that one of the partners needs to possess the other person. This need for appropriation can become pervasive, even unlivable. It is a feeling that is toxic because it highlights a lack of self-confidence and a problem of abandonment. This means that whatever the partner may do, the other will always have a lack inside him, a fear of being abandoned. The suffering person unconsciously thinks that he can solve his evil by being in a fusional relationship made of possessiveness. The person who suffers from it is selfish in spite of himself and cannot think about the happiness of his partner. This need for exclusivity will tend to make the other to the state of “things”, because we feel that we can use it as we see fit.
What to do?
When you want to change a situation, you have to do it quickly! If too much time is allow-ed to pass, the relationship will settle on a certain tempo and it will be perilous to change the rules. It is important to talk with your partner as often as possible, because true and sincere dialogue can save all couples. When you speak with your heart, the other will listen to you with empathy. Do not hesitate to say what bothers you, trying to find a situation “together”. In the majority of cases, you will manage to erase the few imperfections that tended to bother you.
Beware of frustrations! (Differences Between Jealousy and Possessiveness)
If time passes you accumulate frustrations after frustrations and you realize that your story is moving towards a destructive feeling: sound the alarm and question yourself. Maybe you’ve given some permissions to your partner to act in this way. Just as it is possible that your partner acts abnormally. In any case, decide to act by assuming your responsibilities. It happens that one is forced to leave a relationship, because one no longer finds one’s account and misfortune see-ms to have laid down one’s home.
Decide to stay
If you decide to stay, it’s because you assume that your partner is jealous/possessive and that it “suits” you. This implies that you agree to live with a person who will always be suffering, because his inner “lack” will not be able to find any respite. Your love life will be made of losses and fracas and you agree to say “goodbye” to all tranquility. The advantage is that you will never get bored with your partner who will take care of making you live a changing and vibrant life. Know that if you stay, it will be necessary to bandage the wounds of this other who is in permanent suffering.
Decide to leave (Differences Between Jealousy and Possessiveness)
To leave is to make the choice to respect oneself, because one deserves happiness. You realize that your future will never be bright and that your efforts will be in vain. Living with a person suffering from jealousy/possessiveness quickly becomes oppressive, because you will never be entitled to your secret garden. Maybe also that taking a break in the couple can be a trigger for your partner who could decide to change. Jealousy is always “cute” at the beginning of a relationship, because it gives the feeling that the other has real feelings.
But, very quickly the couple will be imprisoned in an endless vicious circle. Living with a person who does not trust quickly becomes unlivable. We have the right to flourish in a romantic relationship. Staying with a jealous person often carries the risk that he will become possessive.
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