Romantic breakup with a co-worker
Usually when you separate from a person, you don’t see each other anymore and it’s over. Everyone recovers his furniture, his green plant, we decide on the custody of the dog, and everyone resumes his route. In some cases, it can be more complicated. When you are married, when you have children, or when you are dating a co-worker. In the latter case, the separation can quickly turn into an ecological disaster (and we weigh our words). So when you experience a romantic breakup with a co-worker, how to avoid disaster? How to leave each other “at best” when we continue to see each other and to associate with each other at work?
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The break at work is a doubly difficult ordeal to manage
Leaving a person or being left is probably one of the most vivid soul pains. Especially when one or the other still has very strong feelings. Digesting the break-up then goes through a process of mourning in love, which takes place in stages. Sadness and anger gradually give way to acceptance and reconstruction. This journey can take time. It may also be subject to backtracking.
That’s why separating when you’re co-workers is so painful. Being forced to see each other on a daily basis does not help ex-lovers to distance themselves. It is difficult to forget the person at the origin of our suffering when we are led to associate and work together!
If we can not alleviate your heartache (that we wish you the shortest and lightest possible), we can give you some tips to make this event go as well as possible given the circumstances.
5 tips to make your breakup with your co-worker go as well as possible:
1/ At the beginning, define the relationship (Romantic breakup with a co-worker)
“Prevention is better than cure,” says the famous saying. And this has never been more true than when it comes to romantic relationships at work. To prevent the crash, you can agree precisely on the nature of the relationship, and make sure that it has the same meaning for both. Avoid that one considers as a love what the other thinks to be true love. Similarly, strive to discuss frankly and realistically your prospects for the future of love.
We grant you, it is not very glamorous to want to put words on everything, especially in the field of love, where we would like to live on fresh water and spontaneity without thinking about the next day. But leave the saying “live from day to day” to conventional lovers. You are co-workers, and there are interests at stake. It is a question of your future serenity.
2/ Leave “cleanly”
When the break-up is inevitable, it is better to leave oneself in no uncertain terms. “Better a good separation than a bad union”, sums up a popular saying. In other words, a clear and unambiguous separation is preferable to the long agony of a romantic relationship, false hopes, and the many torments that it generates.
It may also be necessary to maintain a minimum level of agreement if you collaborate together. Make sure, if possible, to leave yourself in a “clean” way. However, the reasons for rupture may not be so, their own. Avoid unleashing a hurricane of emotions that would be emotionally and professionally devastating.
3/ Do not bring your conflicts back to work (Romantic breakup with a co-worker)
If you cannot avoid the crisis, make the minimum effort not to express your resentment in your workplace. Establish a truce so that you can continue to focus on your missions, and settle your accounts outside the office.
n addition, telling your setbacks in detail to your office neighbor is not advisable. In general, do not involve your colleagues in your history,and do not ask them to choose their side. Do you want revenge by spreading a rumor about him? Forget this idea right away! Banish any declaration of war against your ex. Because “who sows the wind reaps the tempeste”! The consequences could be serious, and lead to dismissal if it were proven that you were disrupting the working atmosphere.
4/ Do not fall back into the panel
Did you leave on good terms? So much the better for you, it’s a chance! But be careful, because by leaving yourself in “too” good term, you could be tempted to put the cover with your ex.
What about, if you got along well in bed, practicing casual s.e.x.e? Why not if it remains light and purely physical. And if you are both fully aware of it. However, think twice if your galipettes are likely to revive feelings between you.
Do not let yourself be seduced again by the same person. One can sometimes be struck with partial amnesia in contact with one’s ex, replaying in one’s head the best moments of history and forgetting the reasons that made us separate. Most people don’t change. As Marcel Proust wrote: “It is really rare that we leave ourselves well, because if we were well, we would not leave ourselves.” to meditate.
5/ Distance yourself (Romantic breakup with a co-worker)
If it has become too difficult for you to rub shoulders with your ex on a daily basis, changing the air can be the solution. Do not tell yourself that you are weak or fragile, or that you are fleeing difficulties. You are a strong person who has decided to no longer suffer a situation that no longer suits him. Know that making such a decision requires a lot of listening and courage. And it can even be part of your rebuilding process.
Listen to the job market, reactivate your network, update your CV, embark on training. You will feel a new and creative energy. It is this beautiful energy of life that allows you to set up projects and project yourself into the future. And little by little you will manage to detach yourself from this old love and move forward in your life. Remember, “after the rain the good weather!”
And finally, a quote full of optimism from Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (The Little Prince) for the days of low morale: “There will always be another opportunity, another friend, another love, a new strength. For every end there is always a new beginning. »