According to statistics, infidelity seems to exist everywhere, it is a real phenomenon of civilization, regardless of gender despite everything we can hear. In the United States, among people in a relationship for more than five years, more than 70% of women and 72% of men say they have been unfaithful at least once, figures that speak volumes! In this article, I beg you not to judge, we are talking about real figures, there is no point in being moralistic.
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Causes (why Adultery )
- Life made impossible by the other (for 41% of cases)
One of the two partners feels in prison, has the feeling of no longer being able to live his life freely. Feeling misunderstood and prisoner of a love that becomes heavy and oppressive, the partner will seek to recharge in the arms of another person.
- Lack of attention and tenderness (for 36% of cases)
This happens most of the time in women. The companion takes his partner for granted, no longer makes efforts and forgets the essentials: the proofs of love, the words of love, the acts of love… The woman (or man) feels abandoned and will seek to find the lost tenderness with another.
- Loss of the spouse’s desire (for 23% of cases)
the intimate desire is one of the cements of the couple, when it runs out of steam, the partner in lack of desire will seek to vibrate again his body of sensations.
However, contrary to popular belief, which associates the origin of adultery with a severe deficiency in the couple, other causes can also explain infidelity. Even if life with the partner remains pleasant, the simple desire for diversity can sometimes lead to this kind of act. This curiosity is triggered, in humans, by dopamine, stimulated primarily by diversity.
Adultery: Men and Women ( why Adultery )
Men and women are less selective for a one-off relationship than for a long-term romantic relationship, which seems logical. However, according to a study by David Buss, women remain more picky than men in their choice for one-night stands. Women also find it more difficult to engage in a relationship based solely on punctual carnal intimacy with a partner already in a relationship (because affection is less present).
Conversely, men have no trouble engaging in adulterous relationships strictly based on carnal intimacy. Indeed, they have less trouble ignoring the physical details, humor, culture or age of their mistress. They will be more selective for a long-term story.
In short, “The woman looks elsewhere to replace, the man to add”.
Adultery and society (why Adultery )
Almost all religions condemn the infidelity of both partners, most cultures have long criminalized only female adultery. For example, Native American women in Illinois guilty of infidelity had their noses cut off, their hair pulled out, or were gang-raped… Which is chilling!
Even today, some societies continue to encourage such barbaric practices.
The theory of double need
Based on decades of therapeutic experience, we can say that two basic and antagonistic needs coexist in both men and women:
- A need for attachment and security within a stable relationship.
- A need for emotional diversity, manifested through the dream of intense adventures with other partners, which confirm our potential for seduction and comfort us on the fact that we are not condemned to a predictable and all traced life.