Relationship Guide & Sex

Can we change the other? Is it normal to want to change the other?

Published

5 years ago

July 11, 2021

Can we change the other?

Sometimes we find it hard to accept that the other is… other. That he has opinions, habits, manias, occupations different from ours. In the name of the perfect understanding of our couple we are eager for a perfect soul mate that is perfectly in line with our imperfect ideas. A form of alter ego that resembles us, as if to reinforce our qualities but also and above all, our defects. However, when everything goes perfectly, our differences seem to be a source of enrichment: “we complement each other so well”.

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The rigorous will put his sense of organization at the service of the disordered and thus, enhance his sense of punctuality, structure. The spender will complete the clamp, teaching him, by his way of acting, a tradition of openness and hospitality. Can we change the other? Is it normal to want to change the other?

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Can we change the other? Is it normal to want to change the other?

On the other hand, when everything is shattered, the small defects of the other become irritating and unconsciously, they crystallize the bad waves of the moment.

And one day, our half no longer has the right to be what they have always been (Can we change the other?)

All couples who get along well show each other’s flexibility to satisfy and please each other. But then why, one day, the defects of our partner, his manias, become simply unbearable to us? Why does our partner suddenly no longer have the right to be what he has always been, which has never bothered us, until now? Finally, this malaise can be easily explained: a lack has set in; lack of tenderness, complicity, sharing, pleasure… An invisible distance took place within the couple. We don’t love ourselves enough anymore, all stupidly.

The cure?

Try to love yourself again. Easy to say. Books, songs, newspapers, magazines, life have taught us that love has its dose of “ups” but also “downs”. To go up the slippery slope without picking up again, you have to play the rapprochement, to give yourself more moments of qualities. Or take distance, real this time, and try to slowly rebuild his couple.

We can always dream…

The Other is Other and we no longer accept it (Can we change the other?)

Criticizing a few manias, shouting for junk details, is one thing. On the other hand, to let off steam on one personality, on anchored character traits, which make the other, its value, is another. These are constituent elements of our partner, its trademark in a way.

Can we really reproach Julien for his avarice for example? At first, when Mary met him, she didn’t realize anything; since millennials were in favour of gender equality, they were not surprised to have to pay their share. She didn’t ask herself any questions when Julien ate less than her in the restaurant or when he preferred to take a jug of water rather than a bottle of white.

Several times, going to dinner with friends, she was surprised to see him cut the bill not wanting to pay for the coffee and bread he had not consumed. So what? Julien was young and somewhat broke. When they organized parties together, Julien always brought the piquette from the corner. Later, at their wedding, Mary was amazed to see so few people invited to her husband’s side. But no matter, she was in love with him and in addition, she loved him (yes, there is a difference). (Can we change the other?)

It was when she began to live with Julien, on a daily basis, that Marie realized her stinginess. Julien was always on the lookout for the last “good deal”, proud to rob Groupon and Lebon coin, always making calculations, sharing the smallest costs up to the last cents, having the feeling of having been hooded if he did not recalculate everything. He preferred to walk an hour in Paris rather than pay a Navigo Pass, scratching some fifty euros here, and some ten euros there. He stacked the Tupperware in the fridge to avoid any mess.

Marie, who had not wanted to see this defect, although conspicuous from their first meeting, began to be disappointed by her man. Sharp remarks and reproaches began to rain. This lack of generosity and “respect” shocked her. But in the name of what? In the name of herself who had been raised with the values of hospitality, sharing and generosity. In fact, Marie set herself up as a role model, believing that her husband was not “good enough” for her. This simply proved that she could not accept that Julien’s values upset hers and that, conversely, her values upset those of her husband.

No, no one is a role model (Can we change the other?)

But who is she, who are we to position ourselves as a model of anyone? No one holds the rule that measures the “right way” to live, to speak, to think, to act. Wanting to change the other is none other than an abuse of power that unfortunately shows that we see our partner as an object, a “thing” that we could model like a Pygmalion or that we would like to educate like a big child. Robin Norwood in “those women who love too much” explains” The need to succeed in changing the other is one of the destructive elements of the relationship”. Indeed, isn’t it a derivative way of swinging at the other that we don’t like it as it is, and, therefore, that we don’t like it at all?

Let’s start by trying to change the easiest, that is, ourselves. The rest will follow, or break.

Relationship Guide & Sex

Best Help Orgasm to last long in bed for men, even at 40’s

Published

3 years ago

January 4, 2023

Help Orgasm – Lasting longer in bed is a common concern for many men. It’s important to remember that there is no “normal” amount of time to be in bed and everyone is different. However, if you are consistently unable to last as long as you or your partner would like, there are things you can try to help improve your endurance.

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Help Orgasm

Practice kegel exercises. These exercises strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which can help improve control over your orgasms. To do kegels, contract the muscles you would use to stop yourself from urinating. Hold the contraction for a few seconds, then relax. Repeat this process a few times a day.
Try the “stop-start” method. This involves stimulating yourself or your partner until you are close to orgasm, then stopping and taking a break before starting again. This can help you become more aware of your arousal levels and improve your control over your orgasms.
Use condoms. Condoms can help reduce sensation and delay orgasm. There are also condoms available that contain numbing agents to further reduce sensation.
Try different sexual positions. Some positions may be more stimulating than others, which could make it harder to last. Experimenting with different positions can help you find ones that are less stimulating and allow you to last longer.
Take breaks during sex. If you feel like you are about to orgasm, take a break and switch to a less intense activity, like cuddling or kissing. This can help you relax and slow down your arousal levels.
Use distraction techniques. Some men find that thinking about something unrelated to sex can help them last longer. Others find that focusing on their partner’s pleasure helps take the pressure off of themselves.
Try edging. Edging, also known as orgasm control, involves bringing yourself or your partner close to orgasm, then stopping and waiting for the arousal to subside before continuing. This can help you become more in tune with your arousal levels and improve your control.
Try using a delay spray or cream. These products contain numbing agents that can help reduce sensitivity and delay orgasm.
Talk to your partner. If you are having trouble lasting as long as you would like, it’s important to communicate with your partner. They may be able to suggest different techniques or positions that can help.
Consider seeing a healthcare professional. If you have tried the above techniques and are still unable to last as long as you would like, it may be helpful to see a healthcare professional. They can help identify any underlying issues and suggest treatment options.

It’s important to remember that lasting longer in bed is not the only measure of sexual satisfaction. Communication with your partner and being present in the moment are also important aspects of a fulfilling sexual experience. Help Orgasm

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Relationship Guide & Sex

Peter Gillis has no intention of getting married in the short term

Published

4 years ago

May 31, 2022

Admin

Peter Gillis has no intention of getting married in the short term

Peter Gillis has no intention of getting married – Peter Gillis has no intention of marrying his girlfriend Nicol Kremers in the short term. That made the sixty-year-old reality star Monday night known in Shownieuws.

Gillis, known from the SBS6 program Massa is Kassa, said he does not want to get married for the time being. “That’s not in there yet,” he said Monday.

Sixty-year-old Gillis has been married once before and that was not a success. That marriage ended in a divorce and the reality star says she is “not proud of it”.

“You marry a woman to stay with it forever. If you get divorced, it doesn’t deserve the beauty prize. But if it is no longer possible, you also have to make the decision. That didn’t happen in one day. We talked a lot about that at the time. It hadn’t been right for five years.”

Gillis has been in a relationship with the 32-year-old Kremers for four years now. He does not rule out that it will come from a wedding later on. “It could just happen once.”

Peter Gillis has no intention of getting married in the short term

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Relationship Guide & Sex

The “micro cheating”, or the art of cheating “just a little”

Published

4 years ago

April 30, 2022

James Williams

micro cheating,

Deceive, while keeping a platonic relationship. “Micro cheating” or “micro deception” is an ambiguous relationship with a person other than his or her partner. This emotional infidelity is developing more and more, encouraged by the use of social networks.

When do we consider ourselves unfaithful? For some, infidelity starts long before the exchange of a kiss or a more intimate relationship.

It can start with a game of looks, texts, an appointment for a coffee These actions may seem trivial or minor, but put end to end can evoke the first signs of infidelity. Hence the term “micro-cheating” or “micro-deception”.

This phenomenon can be defined as a “nice flirtation” with a person who is not your partner. Micro-cheating does not involve physical contact. With “micro-cheating”, we talk more about emotional infidelity.

This betrayal would also be more complicated to manage for the “deceived” person. Because this breakdown of emotional trust in a couple can cause more damage than “physical” infidelity.

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The “micro cheating”, or the art of cheating “just a little”

However, each couple has its own definition of infidelity. Thus, what can be called “micro-deception” in one relationship can also be considered habitual by another couple. It is up to each couple to define their own notion of fidelity and limits not to be exceeded.

The whole thing would be to communicate in couples.

Micro cheating is developing more and more due to the multiplicity of digital discussions and various social networks.