Should I forget it? You are in a relationship. It’s not going so well anymore, actually. Not for weeks, not months actually, maybe almost a year. Deep in your heart you know that it can no longer be done like this, but you doubt whether you are able to make the right decision.
In my previous article “ Should I Let Him Go ” I already indicated 5 reasons to let go of a partner. Here’s the sequel, with 5 more rock-solid reasons to forget your ex or bad partner and say goodbye for good.
Reason no. 6 to forget him: a wrong partner has a negative influence on all areas of your life
I have experienced it over and over with my coachees. One day you run into him, the wrong man. Your friends will see it immediately and will tell you (certainly good friends). You ignore their comments and you defend them. Or you say you agree with them, but then you go your own way. Your friends are starting to distance themselves more and more because it is clear: you either ignore their advice or you let them fall for that man.
You feel so miserable without friends. Because you feel miserable, it also has repercussions on the productivity in your work. Then back to your relationship with family members. Before you know it, your whole life is central to one thing: HIM! But still, every now and then that little voice in your head “should I stay now or should I forget him”. Deep in your heart you know the answer quite well .
Remember, if you are truly happy with a man, it will affect other things in your life as well. The more secure and stable your relationship is, the better you will function in all areas of your life.
Reason no. 7 to forget him: he doesn’t want you, why would you still want him?
This is a bitter pill for you, but this is the ONLY thing you should be concerned about: the fact that you don’t feel loved and he doesn’t see how much you are worth.
Stop analyzing whether you should forget about it and let it go and keep it simple.
- Isn’t he asking you to go out with you? He doesn’t want to know and doesn’t see how nice you are
- Isn’t he asking if you want to be his lover? He doesn’t care about you and doesn’t want to make an effort
- Doesn’t he want to take the step to enter into a relationship with you? He doesn’t want to invest in you
- He’s not asking you to marry him? He doesn’t want you to enrich his life
Just because he doesn’t want to know, doesn’t see or doesn’t want to be or do this doesn’t mean it will never change. But… this should be the case, certainly within a reasonable period of time. If not, it is time to forget about him and let go.
Trust your common sense. If your boyfriend ‘doesn’t know’ after a year and he still hasn’t introduced you to his family, chances are he’ll never want to see you as a girlfriend.
Reason no.8 to forget it: it’s not OK
Is your relationship far from ideal? Then it is easier to think ‘ok it’s not that bad’ than to actually do something about it. “Maybe I don’t deserve to have a nice husband”, “who wants a relationship with me?” “if he chose me, I might get bored eventually” “I don’t have time for a real relationship” “I don’t want a boyfriend.” They are all tools to make the situation easier. You can also take a little more emotional distance, so that the pain becomes more bearable.
But trust me, they aren’t effective tools, and if he turns you down after an unhealthy relationship, it will hurt just as much as if you were in a healthy relationship. In fact, it will be even more painful. When he ends a healthy relationship, you can still say that at least you have had good moments.
Reason n ° 9 – counteract negative self-talk
When a man is unable to appreciate your personal qualities then you are telling yourself that you are “worth nothing more than what you have now”
You may be blaming him, but in fact you are only hurting yourself. Some men just really don’t see it. You hurt yourself to stay in the relationship. You say to yourself “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not pretty enough”, or “I’m not interesting enough” “I can’t find anything better” etc. etc.
It is sometimes very difficult to admit all this. But be nice to yourself, say positive and motivational things about yourself and repeat them often!
Reason # 10 to forget about him – the right man might just live around the corner from you
I am always positive in life. If something doesn’t work I say: ok I failed, but it was just 1% or I had succeeded
But suppose you say you’ve found the perfect man. In many respects he meets the criteria set for what you want. Intellectually, spiritually, emotionally and physically, he’s everything you want in a man. You find him fascinating and he stimulates you in almost everything … BUT one or two things he does not meet.
Whether a man is perfect or not, if he can’t commit, he can’t make the move, he keeps his distance, then he’s NOT the guy for you. Before you think you’ve failed, consider:
- that you have to work like the sodejuu to find a nicer guy
- that you have to open your heart to the man who likes you
- that you become more courageous and stronger when you can accept that it didn’t work, but that you remain confident that it will one day work
If you knew that “Mr. Right” would live around the corner from you, and you keep worrying about the question “should I forget him? The man who doesn’t give me what I crave ”then why would you want to waste your time and energy for another minute in ‘Mr Wrong’?
Don’t you want to be happier than you are now? Received more love than you receive now?
What have we learned from all this? The answer to the question “should I forget him” is: If he still remains emotionally unreachable to you after about a year and he still doesn’t really want to commit to you, then the answer is “Yes”.
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