second chance as a couple
It is said that today, about one in two couples separates. Is it because they don’t give their relationship time to settle down or their story to be saved? Does the break come too quickly? Maybe. So should we try again and give ourselves a second chance? The second chance is not always easy to give, and we must admit, it does not work every time …
But if there is the slightest chance of saving your couple, then isn’t it important on the contrary to try everything? To have no regrets as they say… Giving yourself a second chance as a couple: good or bad idea? What are the good and bad reasons? How to start again on a sound basis to rebuild your couple?
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Giving yourself a second chance as a couple
What are some reasons that might suggest that your love story is not over or that it deserves to be saved? The context plays a lot for some relationships, indeed the solidity of a second love breath is based mainly on the context of separation.
Good reasons to give yourself another chance
A love of youth
There are breakups where rebuilding a relationship is easier. For example, couples who were together when they were young and who saw their love thwarted or impossible for external reasons (distance, moving, parents…). It is not uncommon to hear love stories of youth that the two lovers meet again several years later: both have matured and are ready to live their love to the fullest this time.
A remote relationship
Maintaining a romantic relationship at a distance is never easy. It is not uncommon to leave because of the distance that separates and becomes too constraining or painful. The couple can not build themselves like this. But if the path of the two partners crosses a few years later, then the conditions are in place for a new start.
Feelings always strong
The most obvious reason why you give your couple a second chance is that of feelings. If the love is still there, then there is still something strong that can allow the couple to meet again and give a second chance to their story to rebuild.
The wrong reasons to give a second chance to his couple
On the other hand, there are bad reasons to try again, and there are many of them.
A desire for revenge
Wanting revenge on the other following a lie, a betrayal, a deception is obviously a very bad motivation. You don’t get back together with your ex for the sole purpose of giving him back the change of his coin and making him pay for the harm caused, it’s useless and unhealthy.
A trust impossible to regain
In the case of a break-up for infidelity, if the deceived person fails to overcome this betrayal, trying again would be a waste of time. Forgiveness is difficult to find but if mistrust sets in, it will create a permanent climate of suspicion and jealousy. Without even realizing it, we will blame the other for certain things, we will not trust him and we will doubt everything. This would not be positive for either member of the couple.
Nostalgia for past memories
Don’t let nostalgia decide on this desire to relive a story from the past! Yes you had a good time together but it is not enough to rebuild. Above all, far too many people look to their past for fear of looking to their future. In such a context, a new break will be inevitable, because you will not be together for the right reasons.
The fear of staying alone
Fear of loneliness is also one of the bad reasons to give yourself a second chance. Emotional loneliness, celibacy, sometimes finding oneself a solo parent, so many fears that justify doubting one’s choice but which are, alone, insufficient reasons to start something again
The weight of society
The eyes of others can be an important weight in this type of decision. The fear of being judged, of admitting the truth to loved ones makes that many couples do not talk about their breakup or just evoke a break. And they decide to get back together so as not to disturb their families or be singled out by their social circle by separating. You do not live for and according to others, do not forget it.
This is one of the major reasons mentioned for not separating and therefore also, to say that you must give a second chance to your couple in the event of a crisis, break or temporary breakup. We then act as parents and not as a man or woman, as a couple. It is laudable to think of your family, but unhappy parents together will hardly make their children happy.
Giving yourself a second chance as a couple
Second chances don’t work?
Why don’t second chances always work? For all these reasons mentioned above. Couples who get back together out of fear or need,whatever the origin, are heading for failure once again. For many, these fears go beyond everything else and this creates profiles of emotional dependents or toxic couples.
By doing so, the problems that led you to the previous breakup will not disappear, they will arise again at some point, and you will once again plunge into a toxic relationship that will not allow you to be happy.
Giving yourself a second chance as a couple: what if it works?
A necessary time to step back
Sometimes, on the contrary, giving yourself another chance is a good idea. If you take advantage of the time you spend alone, you can see your relationship in another way and thus understand in depth what was wrong and what needs to change so as not to repeat the same mistakes, and thus prepare the reconstruction of your couple.
Couples who manage to find a fulfilling relationship after a second chance have been able to take advantage of all this time spent without the other and have seen it as an opportunity to reflect by seeing their story from a different angle.
Communication as the cornerstone of your relationship
To be ready to give yourself a second chance is also to be ready to talk about it together. If you let your story resume without ever talking about what happened again, what hurt you, it won’t get any better. It is only by talking that the second chance you let yourself be effective. If you don’t talk about it it will start again.
Indeed, you must keep in mind that the second chance you offer yourself is not a sequel to your old relationship, but the beginning of another story. You have to learn to rediscover yourself.
A break-up sets the record straight. She makes you realize that the life of a couple is not a long quiet river even if love is still present. You have to accept the ups and downs that the relationship brings you and put healthy communication at the center of your relationship. Before you embark on a fresh start, you need to become aware together of what went wrong the first time.
A new maturity (second chance as a couple)
Change is always good. In your case, this more or less long break allowed you to understand what was wrong, to take a step back and introspection. You have thus both learned from your mistakes, and thus gained maturity. This new way of understanding your history together offers your couple a new maturity. If you give yourself the means, your relationship will become more solid. And you will truly experience a new beginning. It is your ability to understand that you have experienced an ordeal and your adaptation to change that will offer you this second wind. The important thing is to then focus on the future, leaving behind what has tormented you.
This will allow you to become fully aware of what love is. This is not new, you realize the importance of something when you lose it. You will find sensations that you may have forgotten, rediscover yourself, and especially restart on new and healthy bases.
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